It’s kinda crazy that it’s been so long since I’ve made a post here. I decided to get back on here because I wanted to talk about Scar, my baby. He was just a big part of my blog finding his way into my photoshoots when I first started blogging. To be honest those photos where I would find him walking into the frame are some of my favorite. Well it makes me so sad and I’m tearing up as I type this but Scar passed away. My baby is now an angel up in heaven. It’s been a full month today that I’ve been without him and I’m not sure how the time has gone by so fast. It still makes me sad when I see his spot in the room where his bed used to be or when I first walk through the door after work and he’s not there for me to say “i’m home kitty cat”. I still have his snacks and his cat food because I just haven’t managed to get rid of it yet. I don’t have any children and Scar was my baby. He passed unexpectedly and I think that’s why it was really hard on me.
Over the past month I’ve been able to find more peace as the days go by and I’m just thankful for the 9 1/2 years we had together. Scar loved to cuddle and be with me and Chris just lounging around and I’m glad that the last few years of his life were spent everyday with me and Chris in our tiny apartment and even for the last year and a half that we have been staying in one bedroom together. I think it was perfect for him to be cozied up with us and really just enjoy life at home. I feel like Scar gave me and Chris everything he had left…he made it through mother’s day this year, my birthday which was a few days later, we had a really good Saturday or how we called it Caturday together, Sunday is the day that me and Chris are both off of work and we spent the day in bed watching movies and napping…even Scar was with us all day in the bed, Monday is Chris’s day off from work so he had the full day spent with him, and then Tuesday came and he waited for me to get out of work, waited for Chris to get home an hour later, and then had an hour with us before collapsing into Chris’s arms when he took his final breath.
I raised Scar since he was a baby, when he could fit into my hand and when I had to bottle feed him and I’m just happy I got the gift of being able to be there for him his whole life. I loved him so much and I miss seeing his face everyday, I miss watching my tv shows with him cuddling on Saturdays, I miss him always wanting to be next to me and having to have one paw on me at all times, I miss talking to him, I miss him and Chris talking with each other but I’m happy he is reunited with his brothers Jellybean and William…now me and Chris have 3 little angles watching over us :) Sometimes when I’m alone and I think of how I miss him I still cry but whenever I see photos or videos they only make me happy and whenever me and Chris talk about him we always smile and laugh because he brought joy into our lives. Today after I publish this I’m leaving Scar the cutest little daisy looking flowers where we buried him, next to his brothers, in the most peaceful spot under a tree that always catches beautiful skies at sunset. So here’s to Scar, my baby, I love you. Thank you for the wonderful gift of your life and letting me be able to be a mom.
xo Erica
